There is no way to sit and meditate hour after hour without renouncing, surrendering. Surrendering to the process itself. To continue to hold on to the mind is an ordeal. There is no way to attend to stillness while clinging to the mind, this wild animal pulling in all directions.
I have to be willing to let go of everything: How I think things should be; things I want; the way things are not; things I want to resolve; things I did not do, things I said; things I did not say; things I don’t understand. But, none of it matters.
In the end, the only thing that will take me to a calm place in this sea of restlessness is surrender, allowing myself to be carried by the tide.Watching it, witnessing it, giving up and surrendering to the dead weight of what is—even if a storm arises and the waves roll over me. Surrender to the practice of observation without anticipating, without evaluating.
Trust in the process. One does not actually go. One does not actually lead. One is present. Letting go of control. It’s everything the mind doesn’t want to do. Surrender.
Everything connects in that one place of surrender. Like dots in the same drawing, everything converges in one place. No thought is random. Everything is, and always was, connected. To see this, I must surrender.
Up come thoughts, memories, stories. I think of you, with that job, far away. Every morning dancing toward death. I said to you: “What are you going to do?” You replied, “Surrender.”
I wish to surrender with every choice I am confronted with.
I seek to free myself, if only for a short time, to see the spark of freedom. To surrender is the key.